I suspect this may be one of the most important articles I have written over the course of my entire life but also one of the most foundational to authentic Christianity. If you are an atheist, it may help you understand why you are so underwhelmed by some Christians. If, on the other hand, you believe you are a Christian, it might be valuable to rethink whether you are actually a follower of Jesus Christ.

How this topic came up: My project began five years ago when I began my research into the phenomenon of deconversion—the abandonment of faith by young adults who had been moving into positions of influence and leadership within Christianity. Reading books and articles was helpful, but I needed firsthand experience and understanding, so a colleague and I compiled a list of deconverters for me to read, listen to, or meet—some well-known but most of them just everyday people. 

The first step was to listen to their testimonials but it is a fact of human psychology that the reasons a person gives are often symptoms of deeper, unspoken causes that they may not even be aware of. In this case, it was obvious to me that there had to be a deeper problem because many Christians, despite having the same questions and struggles, seem to enjoy a vibrant, fulfilling relationship with God. What was the underlying cause that made the difference?

Deeper issues: I was struck by two things that were strangely absent from deconverters’ testimonials. First, those who had abandoned their faith were utterly unaware of how culture inexorably and relentlessly shaped how they think, their expectations of what God should be like, their morality, and their view of everyday life. It never occurred to them to wonder how it was that they ended up with the same attitudes and perspectives as the culture they lived in.

Second, experiencing the presence of God in their day-to-day lives prior to their deconversion was starkly absent from their accounts of their Christian past. It was all about Christian activities, conforming to expectations, and signing off on various articles of faith, but there was no mention of the heart and soul of authentic Christianity. It was as if someone said they had been married once but had never personally known the person they were supposedly married to. Once they ditched all those activities and expectations, there was an understandable feeling of freedom and relief. As many deconverters put it, “I wasn’t real; now I can be.”

How could people who were supposedly followers of Christ be so easily shaped and led by culture, rather than by God? Secondly, how could a person become a child of God, in-dwelt by God’s Holy Spirit, yet have had virtually no experience of the ongoing presence of God in their everyday lives? There had to be an even deeper explanation for this.

Ultimate causes: Now, five years into this project, I have been inexorably and repeatedly forced to return, time and time again, to three ultimate possible causes of deconversion. For this article, I will focus on what I believe is the most important one—pseudo-Christianity.

A pattern of pseudo-conversion: Virtually all deconverters would say that they had put their faith in Christ for eternal life and forgiveness of sins. But they never clarified what they meant by ‘faith’. Any awareness that Jesus may have given us a benchmark for the type of faith he requires was completely non-existent in all the testimonials I listened to.

Disturbing reality: I see the same patterns in many who presently believe they are Christians, including many in positions of leadership and influence. These are people who may be blissfully on their way to abandoning belief in God, or who will continue in their pseudo-Christianity until the day they hear Christ say, “I never knew you.”(1) There are outrageous examples of certain TV evangelists on YouTube that make normal pseudo-Christians feel wonderfully righteous by comparison, especially those who practice a more progressive, culture-led, and culturally-acceptable kind of pseudo-Christianity. But it is far more important to measure oneself by Christ’s criteria rather than compare oneself to extremely bad examples. Most pseudo-Christians are very nice, socially acceptable people who sit in church with you each Sunday, and maybe you are one of them without realizing it..

Misrepresenting God: Particularly disturbing are observations of Christians involved in evangelism,(2) but who promote an ‘easy-believism’ sort of gospel that offers ‘free stuff’ such as a relationship with God, forgiveness of sins, and eternal life but without mentioning the level of commitment Christ requires. The intention behind easy-believism seems to be good—to avoid at all costs anything that might create an impediment in seeing that person “put their faith in Christ.” Consequently, the level of commitment that Christ requires is glossed over so that we do not offend, or turn people away from Christ. The result is that many people are misled into thinking they have begun a relationship with God as they enter the front door of an artificial Christianity, but are pouring out the back door some years later at a sobering rate. 

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions” as they say, but in this case, it may be literally true for those evangelists who believe they have a better way than Christ did when he turned away a wealthy young leader who earnestly desired eternal life.

What is “saving faith”?: Christ gives a clear response, but let us start with the deeply disturbing incident, mentioned above, that illustrates the answer to this question. It took place between Jesus of Nazareth and a young, extremely wealthy man who was already in a position of religious leadership. The interaction has enormous implications today for every person who claims they are a Christian and for every person involved in sharing the good news of Jesus Christ.

The disturbing incident: The event is recorded in all three synoptic gospels, underscoring its importance.(3) A man described as young and extremely wealthy, which probably explains why someone so young was also a member of the religious ruling council,(4) fell to his knees in front of Jesus with a question, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

The man told Jesus that he had tried to keep the whole law since he was a youth and “Jesus, looking at him, loved him”—an indication that Jesus could see the man was sincere and asking from the heart. But there was just one problem; Jesus also saw that the man’s identity, security, and value was based on his wealth. So he told the man that he must sell everything and give the proceeds to the poor before he could follow him and inherit eternal life. 

The tragic response: The young, wealthy ruler was “disheartened” but the English word understates this. The original Greek word used here is stygnasas—“to be in a state of intense dismay, be shocked, appalled”(5). He “went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.”

The stunner: The shocking thing is that Jesus just let him walk away. Let’s focus on this for a few seconds—the man earnestly desired eternal life—but Christ laid out a requirement that caused the man to be intensely dismayed and Jesus just let him walk away despite the fact that it clearly states that Jesus “loved him.”

Why?: The answer is given by Jesus a few chapters earlier:

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”(6)

Note the two options. The Greek word translated as “deny” means “to refuse to pay any attention to, disregard, renounce.”(7) The Greek word translated as “himself” is generic—applying to both male and female, and means “indicator of identity, self. (8)

Question: Receiving the gift of eternal life and beginning an eternal relationship with God should be simple enough that even a child can take that step so, in practical terms, what does it look like to “deny” yourself?

What denying yourself does not mean: It does not mean that you must try to “clean up your life” before putting your faith and trust in Christ. Nor does it mean that you should resolve to live by a rule-based, legalistic, expectation-driven kind of pseudo-Christianity that is as devoid of life as an ancient Egyptian mummy. Instead he says that “he who loses his life for my sake will find it.”

What denying yourself means: To put the concept into words a child can understand, denying yourself means to give yourself to Jesus Christ, totally, holding nothing back, realizing he is God, the one who created you and the one who loves you beyond your ability to understand.

The way my mother (who grew up in a non-religious home and understood the cost of following Christ) described it to me when I was a small boy was, “If you ask Jesus to live within you, take away your sin, and take you to heaven when you die, then you will belong to him now and forever. “Belonging” to someone for a child meant that, although I had my Dad and Mom, God would become my forever Father, and that all the honor, respect, love, and obedience I had for my parents, I would have for God, but at an even greater level. As my parents cared, protected, and provided for me, so God would be my ‘real’ caregiver, protector, and provider for the rest of my life. Quite simply, I would belong to God with child-like trust all my life. That perspective of belonging to God has only grown stronger over the years and it has been the most wonderful thing I have experienced.

To clarify for adults who have a natural tendency to look for ‘loopholes’, Jesus used a word that means to “renounce”, “disregard”, and “refuse to pay any attention to” everything that you are, in exchange for a spiritual birth and a totally new ‘you’ that Christ creates. Denying yourself means that whatever identity you have accepted for yourself, whatever your hopes, ambitions, and dreams might have been, everything that you think is important to who you are, whatever has given you significance and security—abandon it from this time forth. 

To deny yourself means that Christ wants you to be ‘all in’, nothing held back, no terms, no conditions. 

Why?: God describes the old natural ‘you’ as “dead”.(9) He makes it patently clear that the old, ‘natural’ you is not the way He made you but is the result of already being spiritually dead—and spiritual death to God is far more ‘real’ than you may realize. God often uses the marriage analogy to describe his relationship with one of his own. The day you marry, the single life is done with. Marriage must be ‘all in’, nothing is held back if your marriage will flourish for life. You must not drag your old relationships into marriage. The day I married the woman who is the desire of my heart, I felt and knew that I was beginning a whole new way of living. God uses marriage as an analogy to describe the total abandonment of the old life in exchange for becoming a child of God. This new life that we find in Christ is an incalculably deeper and more meaningful life that begins right here in this mortal world on a spiritual level and continues to the resurrection of an immortal, eternal, and glorious body when he returns.

Competing examples of not denying oneself: I recently read a book by a person who both self-identifies as a Christian and celebrates her queerness. In her book, she describes examples of truly appalling behavior by people who believe they are Christians (but who tragically demonstrate the symptoms of a harsh and hypocritical type of pseudo-Christianity). In the final section of her book, as a solution, she suggests a different, culture-led kind of Christianity without realizing that it has something in common with the appalling examples she discussed earlier; the concept of denying oneself in the way that Jesus meant is absent. The author has, unawares, illustrated in the same book two very different kinds of pseudo-Christianity with no discussion, in either case, of what Christ described as necessary to follow him.

There is no ‘balance’ between the two versions; anywhere on the spectrum of pseudo-Christianity still falls short of losing one’s life for Christ’s sake and inheriting eternal life.

To clarify, a key attribute of culture-led Christianity today is that the concept of “denying” oneself to follow Christ is absent. Indeed, in the course of my continuing research into deconversion, many individuals express the view that they are not interested in a God that does not comply with our culture’s view of sexuality and identity. So, unlike how Christ let the wealthy young leader walk away, those who share the good news of Jesus Christ feel pressure to retract Christ’s requirement to deny oneself so that the person does not walk away highly offended. This creates a powerful temptation for a person sharing their faith to misrepresent God by glossing over the personal cost of following Christ or by even capitulating to what culture demands so that the individual does not walk away like the rich young man did from Christ.

But, according to Christ, you cannot drag the corpse of the old, natural ‘you’ into your new life in Christ.

The measure of saving faith: Jesus’s requirement to deny ourselves in order to follow him provides a measure of what level of commitment and trust he requires. Like the rich young man, if one does not deny oneself or fully commit to Christ in the manner he requires, then one cannot truly enter into a committed relationship with God or inherit eternal life. The requirement to deny oneself in exchange for a spiritual rebirth and a new, supernatural ‘you’ is the litmus test for true, authentic Christianity. Actions speak louder than words. The kind of faith Christ requires “puts one's money where one’s mouth is” as it were. It is like boarding a commercial flight—you can say you believe an aircraft will safely get you to your destination, but until you board the plane, words mean nothing. 

What “believe in Christ” means: When Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even if he dies,”(10) the original Greek word from which “believes” is translated means, 

“to entrust oneself to an entity in complete confidence … with the implication of total commitment to the one who is trusted.”(11) 

This is not merely believing that Jesus existed and what he said was true–even the demons believe that. It means “total commitment” which is impossible without denying yourself, “taking up your cross daily and following Christ.”

Suppose you do not wish to deny yourself in the way that Jesus described and also illustrated in his interaction with the rich, young man. In that case, this refusal is an unspoken statement that you do not trust Christ to the level he requires to inherit eternal life–he asks for total commitment. Instead, as in his interaction with the wealthy young ruler, Christ will just let you walk away (although in his loving grace, he may offer you more than just one chance if he knows that you will respond to his invitation).

What about “take up your cross daily?”: As we see in the gospel account of the crucifixion of Christ, a condemned man might be required to carry the wooden crosspiece to the location where he was to be crucified. For a man on his way to execution, thinking about how to get more followers on social media, ways to get more money or power, what gender he is, how he can celebrate his sexuality, or getting all wrought up over what kind of government God might put in power in the next election—none of that mattered anymore. The realization that you are about to leave this mortal world has a remarkable way of putting things in their proper perspective. These are things that, understandably, may be of the greatest importance to you, and abandoning them might seem unthinkable, as in the case of the young wealthy man. But until you want what Jesus offers badly enough to abandon everything that is of the greatest importance to you then, like the wealthy young man, Christ indicates you are not ready to follow Him and inherit eternal life. Looking back on the friends I have lost through death over the years, beginning when I was eleven years old, eternity may come sooner than you planned, so the time is now to start thinking from an eternal perspective.

“Taking up your cross daily” is described as “putting off the old self (Gr. anthropos-“human”) with its practices and putting on the new self “which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”(12) 

The word “daily” suggests that considering our old self to be dead and intentionally living the new, supernatural life becomes an everyday way of living once you have experienced spiritual rebirth. More clarity is given later on when Paul, directed by the Spirit of God, wrote,

“We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be brought to nothing so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.”(13) 

Do not bother trying to change the old ‘natural’ self: The Greek word from which “self” is translated in the above quote is anthropos, defined as “a member of the human race, with focus on limitations and weaknesses, a human being.”(14) God provides more clarity here: 

“in reference to your former way of life, you are to rid yourselves of the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”(15) 

It is impossible for you to change the old, “natural” self, don’t even try. Instead, we are to “rid ourselves” of it as we would old clothing and live by the new, supernatural self, created in purity and truth.

To follow Christ costs you everything, but the reward is infinite: Abandoning our “old self” might at first appear to be unthinkable—to do so will cost you everything. But leaving behind our old self comes with a far, far greater reward that cannot be adequately described in human languages. The reward is, in reality, a resurrection from the dead—you become spiritually alive right now in this life—a “new creature.”(16) The physical resurrection of your body will come along as well when Christ returns to this world. I can say, as one who has followed Christ for many years that, despite the suffering in this life that Christ said is inevitable, I would not trade the unspeakable joy and fulfillment of knowing God and experiencing His presence in my daily life for the whole world. He is the origin of “every good thing given and every perfect gift,” the “Father of Lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.”(17) 

What could possibly be more wonderful than to spend eternity getting to know such a God who is the personification and origin of beauty, love, music, honor, perfection, and every good thing given and every perfect gift?

Application: What is the takeaway? First, if you sincerely desire to “inherit eternal life” then abandon the old, dead ‘self’ and throw yourself totally into the arms of Jesus Christ for a new, spiritual rebirth, along with the gift of purification of sins and eternal life. Do not be mistaken; you will still sin, but the supernatural life is a road that goes ever higher up and further in, and you will live more and more according to the “new self” as you ask God to help you love him as he truly meant when he said, “with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind.”(18)

Second, if you share the good news of Jesus Christ with other people, you are an ambassador for him; do not ever misrepresent him or what his requirements are to follow him and inherit eternal life. To misrepresent God is a serious violation of the stewardship God has entrusted to you as His ambassador.

A prayer: Perhaps you truly desire eternal life, a spiritual rebirth, and purity in the sight of God. The following prayer illustrates how you can put your faith in Christ in a way that honors the unquantifiable magnificence of entering an eternal relationship with our Creator in the way that He requires. Entering a life-long union in marriage is a momentous step in this life and it ought to be taken with the utmost sincerity; putting one's faith in Christ is infinitely greater, but also simple enough that a child can do it if they understand what they are doing. If you wish to take this step and understand what it is that Jesus requires of you, here is an example of a prayer that expresses the kind of “total commitment” required by Christ:

Jesus Christ, here I am. I place myself totally in your hands for forgiveness of my sin and for eternal life. I have no terms, no conditions, and hold nothing back. I want to be ‘all in.’ If there is an area of my life that I might be unwittingly holding back, please invade it right now. I surrender myself to you in my entirety. Do to me anything you desire; change me any way you wish. Make me the kind of person you originally created me to be, whatever the cost. You are my life, my joy, my hope, my Lord, my God, and my savior from death in all its aspects. Work within me by your Holy Spirit to bring me closer, day by day, to where I truly love you in the way that you actually meant when you said to do so “with all my heart, soul, strength, and might.” I ask you as my Lord, my King, and my Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you! Amen.

If you would like to talk confidentially with an online mentor about how to experience true, authentic Christianity and the presence of God in your life, follow this link. I have also produced a video of my own experience in following Christ that you may find helpful. It is called Quest for a Beautiful Mind.

References:

1. Matthew 7:21-23.

2. The essence of true evangelism as it is often described today is found in Matthew 28:18-20 and centers around Christ’s command to “make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.”

3. Matthew 19:16-22, Mark 10:17-22, and Luke 18:18-23.

4. ἄρχων - “ of members of the Sanhedrin” William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 140.

5. ibid., 949.

6. Luke 9:23–25.

7. ἀπαρνέομαι, William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 133.

8. ibid., p. 269.

9. Colossians 2:13,14.

10. John 11:25.

11. πιστεύω - William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 817.

12. Colossians 3:1-15.

13. Romans 6:6-8.

14. πιστεύω – William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 81.

15. Ephesians 4:22-24.

16. 2 Corinthians 5:17.

17. James 1:17.

18. Mark 12:30.